Switching Sides – The N.U.-A.N.T.I.-G.U.N. Blog

That’s right, you read that correctly, after 3 1/2 years of being a pro-gun blogger. I’ve decided to switch sides and joining the anti-gunners.

Why am I doing this?

Mostly out of pity. Gun blog after gun blog has decried how the Brady Campaign and CGSV appear to be in an ever downward spiral. And sometimes, you just feel sorry for your opponent, so I’m giving them a helping hand.

Besides, it should be relaxing not having to conceive of real arguments and just utilizing hyperbole and scary imagery. Should give my brain a rest for a while…

Seriously, do we REALLY want Hispanics owning guns? Why is the NRA fighting for their rights anyways?

The NRA advocates for the use of holsters and good safety practices (and erasers). But don’t be deterred….they want a gun in every backpack of every child.


Example of how to twist the facts and sensationalize. First, see if there is any way to get your number higher. You could say 10,176 people were shot and killed in 2005. But better yet, you could find out how many people died in 2005, and say 68% of the 14,965 murders. People just see the bigger number in red and don’t finish the reading the rest. Strategy two, make no mention of justified homicide by police or citizens. Nor exclude suicide, after all suicide is just self-murder. Now we’ve got a nice frightening and robust number to work our objectives with!

Here is a guide from California to weapons we need to ban.

They’re very scary, look at the pictures. Though these firearms are not different in mechanical  functionality, being semi-automatic like many sporting rifles – they are SCARY. See, they’re all BLACK!!!!

Black is scary. People are scared of black. (Is this racially motivated?) And it is bad to scare people. Ignore the fact that many of these designs are older than your grandfather. They’re lethal and black!

Remember our rules about gun control…

  • We don’t support the banning of firearms, just the making them unavailable to anyone outside of law enforcement and military.
  • Any time someone under 30 is killed, even gang banger, remember they’re a child. No, really, someone gave birth to them, so they are “someone’s” child. So it’s not a lie. They are children.
  • If it’s black it’s evil, unless its a 30 year old black gang banger killed by a gun owning citizen, then it’s a child.
  • Remember, there are three types of lies “White Lies, Damn Lies & Statistics” be sure to use all three to your advantage. Remember, children and most women have small arms. Therefore any killing done by a woman or child can be used to further your statistics just state that you were using ‘murders’ by “Rifles, shotguns and small arms”.
  • Loophole, we can call almost anything a loophole. And when you say it’s a loophole, you can tell any white lies you want.
  • Remember, social media is not your friend. But traditional media is! Anytime there is a gun incident or fire arm issue in the news, remember to send a press report to your local newspaper (which laid off nearly all it’s editorial staff a decade ago). They’ll just reprint your entire press release as their article. Sure, they’ll take credit for it. But who cares, we got all our agenda in. Of course, if they’re a bad bad little editor, they might toss in one token viewpoint from a moderate hunter so as not to look biased.
  • DON’T FORGET to blame ANYTHING that happens after June 26, 2008 on the Heller decision:

We here at the N.U.-A.N.T.I.-G.U.N. Blog hope you’ve enjoyed our first anti-gun blog post. We just know our support this new cause will help tremendously.

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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. […] heh […]

  2. I think you forgot the part where only thugs and criminals waiting to happen own guns. Clearly someone failed to get that message across.

  3. The secopnd amendment only applies to the right of governments to keep arms. That’s because, back in the time of America’s founding, there were many, many governments with no legal way to acquire weapons. Hundreds of governments all over the world were suffering from a lack of legal self protection and the American founders wanted to fix that global crisis, so they put it in the U.S. constitution as the only collective right in the Bill of Rights. Before that, no one ever assumed that a government could legally be armed. In that, the Founders were great and sensible men. In all matters regarding individual liberty, they were racist, sexist slave-owning, old, dead homophobes whom no one should ever take seriously…oh, except for their inclusion of the abortion right, which is the one and only absolute right in America or anywhere else. The Founders did good on that one.

    • I’ve seen a lot of fuss about the gun rights and many references made to the second amendment of the US Constitution. The fact of the matter is that gun permits are unconstitutional. Laws restricting the ownership of guns are unconstitutional. Let us proceed from here by breaking it all down.

      According to dictionary.com (click on the links for the definitions I am referring to…saved you a little work), a right is something that is claimed and not necessarily granted. According to our founding fathers and our Declaration of Independence, our rights come from our Creator. A permit, according to dictionary.com, is a written form of granted permission. With the definition of these two words established, how is it constitutional that in order to exercise a right I must first obtain permission from the government to exercise that right? In this case, I have to purchase permission that is only granted after meeting certain qualifications which vary from state to state.

      The second amendment states:

      A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

      What this is saying is that because the government must have some sort of armed force in order to maintain security and safety, the people should also be armed. If you do the research, read the federalist papers, and read the various letters and journals of the founding fathers, you will find that the intent of this amendment was to place a balance of power between the government and the governed. This is so that an armed government can’t take advantage of an unarmed people.

      Let’s take it a step further. Notice the period after the word “infringed.” There aren’t any exceptions about background checks, carry permits, concealed permits, character, or any other exceptions. There are no exceptions. Do you not like that? Too bad, it is what it is and it says what it says. The last time I checked, the US Constitution is the SUPREME law of the land.

      According to dictionary.com infringe means to encroach or trespass. According to dictionary.com, encroach means to gradually or stealthily advance. The gradual advances against our gun rights, by definition is infringement and unconstitutional. Making it harder for me to carry a gun by forcing me to jump through hoops and purchase permits is infringement and is therefore unconstitutional.

      What about the felons out there? Surely we have to have some law to keep certain people that would do awful things from getting guns, right? Let’s break that down as well. First of all, I would like to point out the ridiculousness of the notion of making any sort of law to keep guns out of the hands of criminals. How naive are these people? What is a criminal? A criminal is an unlawful person that has no respect or regard for law. Do you really think that passing a law to keep guns out of criminal hands will actually keep guns out of criminal hands? Gun laws only restrict law abiding people and infringe on everyone.

      Why are we allowing the government to dictate what rights we can exercise? When did it become OK to have our rights dispensed by the government after jumping through their hoops? Our government has turned into and engine of tyranny. They have slowly and stealthily moved in and taken away little by little until we are no longer free. It is our fault for letting them do it. Write your congressmen and tell them to honor their oaths to the constitution and do away with these ridiculous gun laws. Should we continue down our current path, the intention of the 2nd amendment might turn into an event unwanted by the government.

  4. No, it was a typo…it was supposed to read…

    “Right to keep and arm bears!” That’s right, it was meant to allow us to arm members of the ursidae family….

  5. http://freedom-watch.us/?p=56

  6. Just so you know, in case you missed the satire. This post was for April 1, 2012.


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