The (not so) New iPhone 5…blah blah blah (#crApple)


I’ve been icnreasingly annoyed with Apple for the past two years. The recent boondoggle lawsuit has only furthered that annoyance.  Today, the iPhone 5 is being announced, right this moment in fact.

I have yet to see a single new feature mentioned in the “completely redesigned”:

– new port (finally got rid of the largest connector in the cell phone industry…good job #crApple)

– new map program, because your old one hadn’t been updated in several years because of your war with Google

– VIP email, thank you…of course, Gmail allows you to create filters so you could do something fairly similar.

– incrementally faster processors…expected

– new Siri can launch apps, just like my HTC 6700, which is over 1/2 a decade ancient

– LTE, finally iPhone users can have 4G like everyone else….

– Panoramic photos, store card bank, and lots more apps that you’ve been using for several years – we cloned them.  No, we don’t think that’s wrong. Only we’re allowed to sue over such stupid things.

– more screen, in fact we finally joined the 16:9 aspect ratio revolution – or at least close to it

– NFC (Not For crApple) phones.

– Complete redesign and rebuild of iTunes – ABOUT BLOODY TIME crAPPLE.  Knowing you guys, you redid the entire music/store focus, and forgot to improve the app/synching/stability aspect.  Remember PING, all the wasted time.

– Clumsy Ninja, used to need a super-computer, now an iPod touch….sheesh, when did this need a super computer? 10 years ago…maybe?

– Super-secret wrist strap button for your iPod touch. Just what EVERYONE wanted.  Are we jumping the shark here Apple? I’m not sure if the iPhone5 would have been much different under Steven Jobs. But I am pretty after this, the iPhone 6 would be.

– EAR PODS….Okay, I give credit where credit is due. These look innovative, stylish, odd, but a definite improvement.  Look like they’d be more comfortable over a long period of time. And air flow design might help both in comfort and sound quality KUDOS apple.

Allow me the ability to back-up and restore individual apps. And to transfer my iPhone syncing to another machine without erasing, and I might be content.

So there we have it folks, about as I’ve predicted. Updated processor, LTE enabled, iPhone with a modernized plug.  Now granted, iOS 6 has some interested and desirable features. But knowing #crApple, you’ll have to buy the iPhone 5 to use most of the features. Because things like “child mode” can’t be run on your older iPhone…ju$t $aying.

I think I am starting to understand Apple’s lawsuit of Samsung. If this constitutes a “completely redesigned” phone, crApple must not be able to think outside of the flat rounded box.


Where Apple should have gone.

– iPod, wireless synching, wireless broadcast…any Apple Air speakers could be broadcast too. No more cables.

– bluetooth audio streaming would be nice, most other phones have had this for like several years. And the iPhone still CANNOT do this. (Oddly, I can get it do it on a phone call, just not any other time.)

Seriously, not impressed.  And I am glad, because I really want to leave the iOS platform. And well, this feeble update, let’s call it iPhone4SII  – we changed the exterior and called it a new phone. Seriously, I expect Apple’s stock to take a fair dive today.  I think people wanted something a bit more advanturous for #5.  Granted, the wide angle screen + mini connector + LTE alone will drive sales.  But these SHOULD have been done back in the 4/4S era.

Published in: on September 12, 2012 at 1:19 pm  Comments (1)  
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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. I’m glad you mentioned a newer phone then the 6700, I was about to ship you a 6850 just to get you into the bronze age 🙂
    Come to the Android side, we have choices. And industry-standard microUSB connectors.

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